Friday, March 27, 2009

Whoo Boy lots has happened

Things that have happened:

  1. One of my old Nortel buddies is very sick and is having trouble paying for the meds
  2. Doctor recommended me for gastric bypass
  3. Sunlife LTD coordinator told me that Sunlife is NOT responsible for the LTD if Nortel goes into actual bankruptcy.
  4. The Florida investment with friends of seeming like a trap as opposed to an opportunity. (given #2)
I am still trying to work out my reaction to all this. John and I went out for date night last night. And there are so many decisions to be made that we are stuck in neutral.

The first problem is easily worked on...I am using my investigative talents to see if I can find a way for him to be covered. More than anything the situation makes me sad. He is a good guy and I know he suffers from guilt and fear of failure (much like me) and I ache for his pain (spiritual, mental, and physical). I guess what I have forgotten to do is specifically pray for his plight. Dear God, please grant my friend knowledge of you. Let him come close to You so that You can wipe his tears and hold his hand. Give him relief from his suffering, and grant him peace. Give his family new strength and give them the means to support themselves. In the mighty name of Jesus we pray.

The second problem is kind of a fear thing. I am afraid that I will be ridiculed because of a choice to do the bariatric surgery. I am also a little worried that I might die, actually that does not scare me, what scares me is that my family might think that I risked my life foolishly in order to lose weight. Oh look, it's that old thing...fear of failure and fear of having people think poorly of me. God you are the only one I should be aiming to please. Let me know if you would like me to do this surgery. Let me know that all my fears are for nothing because I am in your hand and you have mapped out my life from before I was a twinkle in my mom's eye. Give me the courage to do what you will set before me and let me have peace over the decision.

Number 3 just makes me shaky. I mean there is nothing I can do if Nortel has made a contract such that when they go under I am without my disability. I just realized that I would lose 75% of my pay but not all of it, because some of it comes from the government. Hmm, see it's better aready. I don't think this one causes worry or for me to be scared. I won't think I've failed if Nortel goes down for the count.

Number 4, is the one that keeps me up nights worrying. This deal is for a mansion in florida. We would be buying the house as a part of a group. We would have access to 4 weeks of the house as would the other 4 couples. The rest of the time the house would be rented out by a professional that already has a contract made up. I think the concept is a sound one. I think the house could be wonderful for our family. The deal is that you give the current owner 10K for lawyer fees and assorted other fees. The house is then transferred to all of our names. Then each of us would get a charitible donation receipt for some amount and then with the tax refund every year we would pay off a 100K note. Should be paid off in 5 years. Then there is another note that we are responsible for but we don't pay the loan payment. This is paid by the proceeds of the vacation rentals. I see how this makes sense if you have the income to support it. But now our income is in question. I do not see going forward with this as very smart. Please Please God give me the trust in you if this is what you want us to do or close the window if it is not what you want us to do...

Walking with God is more like walking the high wire than walking on the beach...